Monday, February 4, 2013

5 fashions I am 90% sure I can't pull off

Guess what you guys. I'm officially not going to be fashionable this year. Or maybe ever. There are about a million things that I can't quite pull off- and ALL of them are trending. Simultaneously. C'mon universe- give a girl a chance!

Waisted Dresses: (1,2,3)

Last week, I visited Target to grab a couple of things for a basketball watching party we were having on Thursday night. I am on a peanut butter kick, and had decided to make these:

so a trip to the store was necessary. Whilst inside, I wandered through the clearance section, because I enjoy testing my self control whenever I get the chance- and I came across a very adorable jean dress that basically screamed "summertime". Upon trying it on, however, I made an unfortunate discovery. My awkwardly tall body is not in tended to wear waisted dresses. The most depressing piece of this puzzle? Upon my brief perusal of the rest of Target's dress collection, I discovered that ALL of the dresses were waisted. Drat. Looks like its tatty jean shorts for me this year. This is like the romper incident all over again.

High Waisted Shorts (1,2,3)

I'm not really sure why this fashion is making a comeback... but it makes me want to cry. I think the fact that they are very "high fashion", and not at all comfortable probably lends to my decision to hate them. They may be friends with my body type... but they are not friends with my taste. I'll take my shorts at the normal height... I mean, its hard enough to find shorts for long legs without hiking them up to be friends with my ribs.

High-Low Anything (1,2,3)

I am nowhere near graceful enough to wear high-low dresses. It always seems like you need a certain poise to pull these off (and the right shoes)- and I just don't have it. I always end up feeling like I am being chased by a fabric tail, and keep looking over my shoulder like I'm being followed by some sort of brightly colored ghost.

Skirts (1,2,3)

Somewhere between high school and college, I lost my ability to wear skirts. I just can't figure them out. I can't figure out what length to wear, what to wear with them, under them or on my feet when I'm near them. I think I may have had some sort of psychotic break that only presents itself as an inability to wear skirts. I love skirts. I own skirts. I am determined that by the end of the year, I will wear one out of the house. Probably. Maybe. We'll see.

Patterned Pants (1,2,3)

I love patterned pants in theory. I love them on other people. I love them right until the moment I put them on and realize I don't know how to rock patterned pants. Then I hate them. And love them. And hate that I love them.

Do you have any fashions that you are completely incapable of wearing, or is it just me?


  1. haha here's a double whammy for you, a high wasted skirt! love! Also, I totally agree about the patterned pants, I like them until I put them on.

  2. I seriously think I would have to go without bottoms if I were faced with a high waisted skirt- I would probably be curled into a ball in the corner eating my hair in frantic fashion paralysis:)